I got out of church and after socializing with my friends I took my fiancée to a Chinese buffet. As we left a man walked up to us, obviously down on his luck, and asked if we had a couple of dollars to spare so he could get some soup. I had four 20 dollar bills in my wallet that I had intended to put in the offering basket for my tithes, and also had my debit card on me with plenty of money in the bank. So as often happens, I told the man, “No, sorry. I have no cash on me.” I drove away feeling a little guilty about telling him I had no cash but the cash was for God right?
Here is my mistake: I got so wrapped up in the obedience factor of tithing that I was using tithing to get me out of helping a person in need. I don’t know the man’s situation; whether he had a house or whether he actually wanted to use money for food. But one thing I know for sure is that I failed to represent Jesus as a member of his body. I also missed the chance to buy the man lunch with my debit card, and I could have sat down and talked with him for as long as he wanted because my fiancée was going to her cousins birthday lunch.
By saying to the man that I had no cash, I am convinced that God heard me say something different. First is that I told the man that I didn’t think he was worth a couple dollars to get food. I told him that I judged him for needing to ask for money and that I won’t help someone who obviously made mistakes in his life to get to where he was now. I didn’t look at it that way but does that man know? God knows the implications behind what I said. Second thing I told the man is that Jesus dying on the cross is also not worth a couple dollars. Here is my rationalization for that statement: Jesus died on the cross for our SINS. Lying is a sin, and Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:31-46 that when we ignore the needy, we ignore him. So in lying to the man and not helping him out, I took for granted what Jesus did for me, and selfishly hoarded it and refused to share it with someone who needed it.
As I drove away God grabbed hold of my heart and showed me my mistake. He showed me that it is common for us to not give money to beggars; choosing rather to mumble a ten word prayer as we walk away, never to think about that needy person again. So I wanted to change things. I wanted to become the Christian that does something outrageous and gets to see God move in an amazing way. I was a ten minute drive away from where I started when I turned the car around. I pulled out my wallet and prepared to give the man the full eighty dollars I had in my wallet. I planned to explain to him my thought process and to ask his forgiveness. And I hoped I would get an opportunity to share Jesus with the man. I pulled into the parking lot and the man was gone. Someday I fear God will ask me why He is missing a son in heaven.
How often do we look at all of the ramifications for us neglecting the commands of Jesus? I have been able to work through the guilt and have received God’s forgiveness. And now I have an intense desire to walk in the Spirit ALWAYS so that I never again miss an opportunity to witness to someone. A little bit of selfishness and pride will go a long way in this world. A little bit of giving and humility in love will go further and lasts eternally.
Touching story. Thank you for sharing. I am very poor myself but I have a home to live in (thanks to the section 8 program) and food to eat (thanks to the Food Benefit Program) and me and my 7 children live a nice life, even though many months of the year we are only living off of $750 a month. I am in my 3rd year of school working to provide my children a better future but I know so many people are so much worse off than me and my heart goes out to them. Giving to those in need IS giving to God even if it is not a sum of money given to the church. Thank you again for sharing this story.
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