Afraid

By Scott Wetzel

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18 (NIV)

I woke up a little confused in a Dodge Neon next to a broken down Ford Econoline van in Plankinton, SD.  We had left from Sioux Falls the night before and this was the second issue we’d had in the 98 miles we’d traveled.  The first was right outside of Mitchell, SD, when our van caught on fire.  It had already been an eventful trip.

The evening before, right as we were leaving, I’d let the other guys on the trip know that I wasn’t sure I believed in God anymore.  I was definitely through going out of my way to follow Him.  He wasn’t all that real to me and I was convinced He may have never been.  So, after some rough apologetics from my two moving companions, we agreed to disagree and started our two vehicle parade towards sunny Seattle.

Back to the muggy morning in Plankinton: the van had started to make a terrible screeching noise right as we reached the exit, so we’d pulled into what looked like a small convenience store.  When we walked around it (in the middle of the night, mind you), we found that there was a mechanic attached to it.  We decided that’s where we’d camp out and that’s why I woke up in a Dodge Neon next to a broken down Econoline. 

The convenience store was open, but the mechanic didn’t appear to have arrived yet, so we walked in and inquired about when he’d show up.  The lady looked up from a black and white TV and said he’d be in around 10.  Then she said some words I’ll never forget:

“Someone is blowing up New York”

She pointed to the small screen and we saw what appeared to be the World Trade Centers on fire.  It was surreal...but we were certain it wouldn’t affect us.  We were heading to the opposite side of the United States.  We were starting new lives.  I was leaving behind the teaching of my youth and emerging as something different.  I guess I didn’t realize it but so was the rest of America.

The day before my faith had finally crashed to the ground.  My life then had the possibility of either producing the fruits of the fear and unknown or producing the fruits of freedom brought by true Love.  I feel like America had the same possibility the next day.

That day was a turning point for this country.  It started out as confusion, turned to compassion, then anger.  Now it’s hoarding.  I guess all of these were based on initial fear, right?  I mean, every one of the feelings that have happened, cultivated, grown and blossomed since 9/11 are all based on fear.  We’ve never really moved out of fear mode.  We helped each other right afterwards because we were afraid of what could happen if we didn’t.  We were angry and attacked people of other cultures and religions because we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t.  At this point, we’re so afraid of people taking our hard earned money and possessions that we’re hording it all.  We’ve become pockets of single entities and, somehow, are still clinging to the word “community”.   The Word of God tells us that when there is Love there is no fear, because perfect Love drives out fear.  My hope for you and me is that we can allow perfect Love to drive out the fear of death, the economy and politics in each and every one of us.  My prayer is that this September 11 we can finally rise above the mixed feelings caused by evil in the world and allow God’s Love to conquer.